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  • LaWanda Woods-Howard

What's Wrong with My Mindset?

Whenever I have the opportunity to speak to a group, it never fails . . . someone always ask the question, "What's wrong with the way I think?" Instinctively, I answer their with a question, "Are you living a happy life?". If the answer is yes, I always respond, "There's nothing wrong with the way you think. You and three quarters of the people in the world are truly happy with their lives. Tell ME, how do you do it?" I usually get a funny look and then I follow up with something to make them smile.


Truth is, we should all ask ourselves that question as we navigate through and out of difficult situations. We should reflect upon every mistake, every failure and every wrong turn that has gotten us to our current situation and find the lesson to be learned and commit to being better. By doing so, I'll be the first to say there's nothing wrong with your mindset - you're on the grow!


Now, if you're of the mindset that you have to continuously validate yourself to look like you're happy and content, that is cause for concern. Having that kind of mindset both propels us and prevents us from fulfilling our potential. Lord knows you don't want to look or feel deficient, right? The good news is this type of mindset - the fixed mindset - can be fixed, adjusted and become less dominant in your life.


Personal experience... I was once a single mother, and due to life's circumstances, I went from having a income of $150,00 per year to zero. Being laid off from my job was one of the hardest transitions I had experienced at that point. I had a master's degree, but hit a wall every time I turned around. No callbacks after interviews and several rejection letters every few days. I had to make some changes and I didn't have a whole lot of time because I felt myself sinking into a deep and bottomless pit. It needed to be simple and doable. I'm happy to two things that really helped me.


Be realistic about where you are right now.

I had to force myself to be happy in the moments of life I was currently living. I'd always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom and now, I was! I'd always wanted to be more active in my children's education - now I could! While there was no money coming in, we were still alive which meant that it wasn't over. I still had good health and I was strong and motivated. I'd heard a sermon once that said money is always circulating, so I literally took that to heart. I still had a chance because I began changing the way I thought about myself and my situation. As that mindset took over, my situation began to change. Everything I did from that point on aligned with my winning attitude.


Create a passion for improving.

What sense did it make for me to keep going over and over in my head how great of an employee I and how they would regret letting me go. It wasn't personal. As they say, it was business. Instead, I began looking for ways to self improve. And that decision wasn't contingent upon finding a new job or going into business for myself. It was truly all about me at that point. I now had the time to fuel my passion. So I started reading more and spending time around people who were in life where I wanted to be. I continued to grow. Instead on sitting on the sofa when I thought I had some spare time, I committed to doing one thing that could push me towards my goals.


Today, I am happily married to a wonderful man who loves and supports me. My daughters, the only ones who knows my heartbeat from the inside, are two of the most amazing young women. I am an overcomer whose difficult past inspired a journey that has not become my assignment. I'm happy, but only because I continue to grow!


See you at the top!


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Destroying Old Mindsets; Creating New Memories